• Try, Modify, Adapt, Transform

Change is to:

• Transmute Energy

Change is to:

• LIVE

Change requires more than thought

Change needs: intent, action, habitual patterns

Change negotiates between pain and pleasure

Change is in our dna

I believe that karma has less to do with the universe watching us and more to do with us- our psyche and our sense of personal justice. We have a natural sense of checks and balances within us. It’s in our deep understanding of relational equity i.e. the balance of energy between you and me, over time and over interactions. For example, in Provoked, long-term abuse has repercussions on a person’s emotional state. We saw how Deepak treated his wife (Kiranjit) harshly (cause) and woke up one night with his feet set on fire (effect), by his long-abused partner.

Provoked dramatizes the deep psychological dynamics of emotional karma. Where one person feels the need to respond in kind or worse than in-kind to the behaviour (words and deeds) meted to them. What has hold is karma. In mythology, there are depictions of karma as impersonal and unsympathetic like Egyptian goddess Ma’at swayed neither by her judgee’s regret nor faith when making her choice.  

I believe in each one of us is a Ma’at, She is there and as we are treated fairly or poorly or otherwise by the different people in our lives, we respond equitably. Everyday examples contain this truth.

Smile and get smiled at. If I ignore my colleague when I enter the office and smile at everyone else at the very least she will not smile at me. Depending on the relational equity between us, she may even keep me off her x-mas list, on her voting list for team leader, nor on her casual dinner and movie ritual. I can rant, seek revenge in soap opera fashion OR make rules for democracy, participation and fairness at the office OR pretend I don’t care. But until I accept the psychological truth I ignored her so now I am being ignored by her – nothing will change. Nothing will change for me.

Emotional karma is about how we deal with our emotions with respect to people we meet. There is no impunity. We punish us.  

I don’t believe that we can change this pattern of interaction till I accept that I have done something to bring on that behaviour. In Kiranjit’s case it was to accept her passivity that “provoked” bullying and violence by her husband. She broke it when she found the strength and confidence to say, “I don’t like bullies.” That broke the cycle of emotional karma for her.  This is Kiranjit’s way.

But what do we do when we’re faced with emotional karma?  If someone is showing us, justified or not, the face of Ma’at. We need to be able to first accept our part in emotional karma. We then need tools to create a positive chain of cause-effect to counteract the negative chain of cause-effect. I talk about it in training sessions: assertiveness, listening, looking out for win-win solutions ie. looking out for me and you, accepting an us, saying yes more often, open body language – these are all positive karma.  

So if I’m in an extreme situation, like Kiranjit, I need to look out for both of us: me and you. Not just you. Me too. If I’m facing a pissed off co-worker, I need to look out for you, accept an “us” and smile, and at least talk about my experience.

Buddhism calls it a chain of cause and effect. We are responsible and powerful through our actions and understanding. It’s the butterfly effect.

Provoked review: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Provoked_(film

that whizz around at night…

Spreading little shadows and spots of dark and light

 In parts of Asia, fireflies gather and dance and flash in patterns of luminescence 

….In my mind, every day

a million little sparks go off

often the glow fades away

embers that never connected, grouped or patterned…

I want to sculpt light and wisdom

string them into a necklace of knubby pearls

place them into geometric kaleidoscope of meanings

for you and me to share and grow

WELCOME TO FIREFLIES ON THE MIND!